Ed, Edd,n Eddy: The Best Years
by BlackJack983
Summary: Just a year after the end of the series, the Eds return in this brand new series! New friends, new enemies, new Edventures! Rated T for crude humor, minor drug use, and swearing.


Pilot

The screen opened up on the streets of Peach Creek county. It zoomed in, focusing on Kevin's house. Within the inside of Kevin's opened garage, he, Double D, and Jonny were at work building a crude, but well built plane. Jonny was welding metal plates onto the plane with a blowtorch, Kevin was using a wrench tighten bolts underneath it, while Double D was in the cockpit, putting the finishing touches on the plane's navigation systems and whatnot. All the while, Eddy, Ed, and Nazz sat nearby, bored.

"I'm gonna need another socket wrench," Kevin said. "Cause' this one just broke."

Nazz handed Kevin the tool he requested before a chorus of bleeps was be heard. Double D got out of the cockpit, and stood up straight.

"Well, all systems to the controls and targeting computers are complete!" Double D exclaimed happily. "How is everything going there, Jonny?"

Jonny looked up from the engine to his friend. He set down the blowtorch, and grinned.

"Everything's a okay!" Jonny answered "Made sure those plates are extra strong. No jerk ass 's gonna bust up this baby for sure!"

"So what are we waiting for?" Eddy said, jumping into the cockpit. "Let's see what this baby can do!"

"Not so fast ," Ed said, pulling him out. "Can't let anything happen to this."

Double D looked from the plane to Eddy. "Ed's right you know. Mr. Adams will be displeased if anything happens to our project."

"And if there's even a scratch on it," Nazz warned. "We'll all get F's for the semester."

"So, Eddy," Kevin said. "I mean this in a friendly way, but-"

"Don't touch it," Eddy finished for him. "Besides, the guy hates me already. Don't need another F from the guy."

The group walked into the house moments before a black SUV pulled into the driveway. All color from Double D's face drained when he saw it.

"Mother and Father are home!" Double D screamed. "Ed, quick! Clean up this mess and get the plane to Jonny's backyard!"

"Sir yes sir!' Ed saluted. He quickly placed the tools back to their original place, and grabbed the plane with one hand, running toward Jonny's house

Double D then let out a sigh of relief, and walked into the house with the others. Little did any of them know, a camera retracted from a large bush, leading to a trio of tomboyish sisters on the other end. Lee pulled out a cigarette, and lit it up.

"So what now, girls?" said May "It's been a while since we've seen our men, but if we mess with them, we mess with the rest of those losers!"

Marie looked at Lee. "Why not get them while they're sleeping? No one will notice."

"And we get to spend quality time with em'," May said suggestively.

"It's settled," said Lee "we'll get them while they're asleep, then we could get a little...quality time!"

The sisters retreated from their hiding spot, snickering and began the first stage of their plan.

* * *

Later that night, everyone in the cul-de-sac slept peacefully. The lights were out, doors locked, and garages sealed. Three figures darted in different directions, into different houses. They climbed up trees, jumping from branch to branch. Reaching the upper levels of the homes, they carefully lifted up the windows, and crept inside. As May entered the hallway, she accidentally knocked over a vase. It fell to the ground with a loud crash.

Sarah woke up instantly as she heard the crash. Creeping toward the door, she grabbed thermal goggles she kept nearby, and put them on. Seeing through the door, she saw May walking silently through the hallway, making her way to Ed's room.

"_No you don't_," Sarah thought. "_He may be and idiot, but he's still my brother. And after all the sit you bitches done, I'm not letting you do anything to him_."

Reaching into her chest, she grabbed a bat, and opened the door. May looked behind to see what was going on, but it was too late. In a few seconds, Sarah was already no her, swinging her bat at May, hitting her repeatedly. Ed got out of his room, and saw what was happening.

"Pokey bear!" May exclaimed, trying to get up, but Sarah held her down. "Let me go!"

"Not a chance," Sarah replied. She turned to Ed. "I caught her sneaking through the window. I think-"

Her words were drowned by cries for help. Looking out the window, brother and sister saw Eddy and Double D being dragged away be Lee and Marie.

"I beg of you!" Double D exclaimed. "Let us go!"

"I like it when a man begs," Marie said. "And stop screaming. You'll be doing a lot more of that when we get back home."

But the two Eds screamed even louder, trying to claw their way out of the Kanker's clutches. Ed was about to leap out of the window when Sarah stopped him.

"Don't," she said. "Besides, we can't do this alone. We'll get the other kids, and figure out what to do."

Ed glanced at May. "What about her?"

"She's tied up good. She won't be getting away anytime soon."

The two later regrouped with the cul-de-sac kids in Rolf's house, May in tow. Standing in a new addition in the house, everyone was still tired and in their pajamas. Around the room were plush white couches that doubled as beds. Jonny lay on the couch in a fetal position, but was woken up by Jimmy. Rolf sat on a large throne covered in sheep's wool, eyes red and baggy.

"So these he-witches dare attack us in our slumber, eh?" Rolf growled. Although he was addressing the group, he stared directly at the bound May. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Only that-" May began. But she was interrelated when Rolf smacked her across the face.

"It was a rhetorical question!" He glanced at Kevin. "So what's the plan?"

Before he could say anything, Jonny shouted, "Hey guys, Plank's got a brainstorm!" Everyone turned to the board of wood, now sitting on the top of a bookcase. "Give it to them straight."

The screen opened up at the Kankers' bed room, with Double D and Eddy tied to chairs. Lee and Marie stood before them, wearing only bikinis. It was a horrifying sight.

"GYAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Eddy exclaimed

"Don't be scared, honey!" said Lee soothingly. "It's just us!"

"Is your way of attempting to clam us down?" Double D asked. "If it is, then you have, without a doubt, failed terribly!"

"Tsk, tsk!" Marie said. "Is that anyway to speak to your lover?"

"Lovers?" Eddy asked, horrified. "fuck no! If we wanted lovers, we would have gotten girls with looks, class, and girls who wouldn't have used dirty tricks!"

Lee smiled. "It was the only way that us Kankers could have some…quality time!"

Eddy began sweating profusely as Lee sat on his lap. He turned to Double D, who was in the same predicament. "Double D, please tell me you have a plan?"

"Im afraid not, old chum."

The Kankers laughed before the Eds screamed at the top of their lungs.

Rolf and Kevin crouch behind a trailer, looking through the window via thermal goggles.

"Tell Rolf what is going on?" Rolf asked. Instead of the black outfit's the other kids wore for this mission, he wore a stylized version of the Urban Ranger uniform.

"Usual stuff," Kevin replied. "Forceful kissing, fondling…oh crap."

"What is it?"

Kevin pulled the goggles off his face, stood quiet for a moment, then vomited violently. What ever the jock had seen, it clearly disgusted him. Kevin quickly pulled out his iPhone, and called the others. "We gotta do this quick, and they're gonna lose their virginity to some ugly ass bitches! Jonny, you know what to do."

Leaping from a bush, Jonny made his way to a large tree next to the Kankers' trailer, and scaled it. Jimmy and Sarah took up positions near the front door, clutching Stinkbomb launchers. Jonny opened the window, and was seen by the room's occupants.

"It's that weird kid!" Marie exclaimed, covering up her chest.

"Get you ass outta here!" Lee growled.

"Eddy, Double D!" Jonny yelled. "Hold your breath!"

The Kankers stood confused as Jonny pulled a stinkbomb out of his pouch, and threw it directly at the sisters. They coughed uncontrollably, the green smoke burning their eyes. Jonny quickly placed a gas mask over his face, and jumped into the room. Freeing the two from their bindings, Jonny lead them down the stairs, and out the door.

" I got them out!" Jonny exclaimed.

Just then, a red pickup truck came out of nowhere, and stopped in front of the trio. Nazz poked her head out of the driver's window, and honked the horn. Rolf and Kevin ran from their hiding place, and jumped into the back, followed by the rest of the group. Lee and Marie came out of the front door, still coughing.

"Where do you think yer going?" Lee said menacingly.

"Got you something," Sarah said. She reached for something, she threw a bag of potatoes at the sisters, knocking them to the ground, May's head poked out of the bag. She watched helplessly as the kids drove off, leaving the Kankers behind.

Sighing, Eddy slumped against the back of the driver's cab. "Glad that's over with." He looked over at Kevin. "Thanks for the save."

"It was nothing ," Kevin replied.

Double D wiped his face with a rag. "You realize that the Kankers might retaliate?"

"So?" Jonny said. "Did you see the way he handled them? No way they'll mess with us anytime soon. But that's enough brooding for one night." He pulled out Plank, placing him onto his lap. "After all, it was Plank's idea."

Everyone laughed as the sun began to rise over the horizon.


End file.
